Thundercracker and the Three Seeklets
by CasusFere
Summary: Megatron's latest scheme involves training three baby seekers specifically for combat on Earth. Unfortunately for Thundercracker, he's the only one even remotely qualified to watch them.
1. Taser's New Friend

A/N – Warning: crackfic. There is a reason for the three sparklings, I promise! Not a very good reason, but face it, most of Megsie's plans are half-baked.

-0-0-0-0-0-

Once upon a time, there was a seeker named Thundercracker. Thundercracker had three little friends who liked to play.

One morning, Thundercracker went to see his three little friends and said:

"ARG! How did those little slaggers get out _this_ time?!"

Thundercracker wasn't entirely sure how _he'd _ended up as the squadron babysitter, but he _was_ sure that it was all Skywarp's fault. In fact, he wasn't even sure why the squadron_ needed_ a babysitter. _Primus! This is a combat detachment, not a care center!_

After the sparkling trio's last little escapade, Thundercracker had been careful to lock them in while he recharged. The constructicons had threatened to do worse than lock them up if the little seekers got out again - they hadn't appreciated their workshop being turned into a play-pen, or the creative uses three miniature jets could come up for Mixmaster's collection of dangerous chemicals. Hook had also made it very clear who they were holding responsible for the damage.

As an added precaution, Thundercracker had welded all the vents shut. He _really_ didn't want his wings removed and welded on backwards…

Thundercracker glared at the vent cover hanging loose. Forget intrusion experts, there was nothing better at getting in or out of a secure area than a hyperactive sparkling.

-0-0-0-0-0-

The desert compound was quiet, construction stilled for the moment. The roar of the morning patrol's jet engines had faded into the distance several minutes before.

Two Autobots crouched, motionless and hidden, in the brush and rocks that surrounded the abandoned mining facility.

A soft scraping sound drew their attention. Quiet whispering drifted out of a ventilation shaft, then the vent cover creaked open, three brightly colored shapes dropping out and streaking into a nearby bush too quickly to make out. Another whispered argument broke out, the bush shaking.

The Autobots exchanged glances. Decepticons were strange, but this was odd, even for them. The shapes were too small to be most of the Decepticons there, but they'd managed to make out the colors: Blue and red, black, and yellow.

The argument in the bush stopped, a pair of moving lines in the brush making the path of two of the shapes. The third started counting.

The Autobots stared. "Is it just me, or the Decepticons playing hide and seek?" Bumblebee muttered to his companion.

"The cassettes?" ventured Mirage.

"Five… Six… Eight… Seven… Nine… Ten…"

"I'm pretty sure the cassettes can count past six."

"Eleven… Fifteen, er… twelve?... uh…" The voice floundered. "Er… Sixteeneighteentwenty! Ready or not, here I come!"

Taser finished counting in a rush, transforming and jetting into the air. He flitted from bush to bush, keeping a running commentary as he went. "Rock, rock, bush, bush? …Bush. That bush? No, wrong bush… rock, oo, shiny. Bottlecap! Rock, rock, bush…" He drifted away from the buildings, peering around. "Nope, nope, hey! Oh, nope."

A glint at the edge of his field of vision made him spin around in midair.

"BONZAI!"

-0-0-0-0-0-

Mirage cursed as the yellow jet whipped around and headed straight for Bumblebee.

The little jet cleared the brushpile shielding Bumblebee from the compound, reversing thrust as he realized that the bot hiding in the brush was not red and blue, winged, or even a Decepticon. He hovered, staring at Bee. Bee stared back.

_Slag! If he yells, we'll have the entire Decepticon force out here!_ Mirage started towards the miniature seeker, invisible.

"Er, hi?" Bumblebee ventured.

"… You're not Scritch!"

"Uh, no, my name's Bumblebee."

"My name's Taser. Whatcha doin'?"

"Well, we're… we're playing hide and seek!"

"Oh, wow! So are we!" Taser seemed amazed at this 'coincidence.' "You should play with us! GUYS!" he called out to his companions. "I found a new friend!" he yelled, oblivious to Bumblebee's shushing motions. "And he's YELLOW!"

"Quiet!" snapped Mirage from behind.

Taser stopped, spinning around to point his nosecone at the voice. "Who are you? Why should I?" Taser demanded, annoyed.

"Because if you don't, I'm going to EAT you," responded the disembodied voice. Mirage figured it was a pretty good threat; simple, easy for the sparkling to understand. It seemed to work, too.

For about five seconds.

Taser froze for a moment, staring in the voice's direction. Then he let out a piercing wail. "HELP! It's going to EAT ME!"

Answering screams sounded form the other sparklings and two colored streaks zipped across the ground and back into the vent, wailing the entire way.

A quick grab by Bumblebee kept Taser from following his wingmates. The seeker transformed, trying to squirm free, screaming the entire time. "AAAAH! It's got me! It's going to EAT ME!"

"No! Shhh… it's just me, no one's going to get eaten, stop screaming…" Bee soothed. After a few moments, the little seeker calmed down, realizing that he was not, in fact, getting eaten.

"It's okay. Mirage was just teasing, weren't you, Mirage?"

Taser folded his arms and sulked. "He's a jerk."

"Mirage, apologize to Taser."

"What?!"

"We need to get out of here before the other two bring back someone with actual guns," Bumblebee hissed. "Since they didn't actually see us, there's a good chance that the Decepticons will dismiss it as over-active imaginations if we wait until we're clear before letting this one go. But if we let Taser run back inside and he says he ran into a little yellow Autobot and an invisible person, they'll hunt us down and catch us before we get out of the rocks. So apologize to the nice seeker, and we can sneak back to the road before we get shot!"

Mirage had to admit to the logic in that. "I'm sorry for scaring you, Taser."

The little seeker glared at him. "You're still a jerk."

"Why you little brat -!"

"You're a bigger jerk than Astrotrain!" Taser spat, making it sound like the worst curse he knew. "I don't wanna play with him anymore!"

"You don't have to play with him," Bumblebee said soothingly, heading off a temper tantrum and starting away from the complex.

"Oh, okay. Hey, what's that?" Bumblebee had to lunge to catch the sparkling as he suddenly bolted to the side.

"That's a snake." Bumblebee got a better grip on Taser.

"It's got a tail! It IS a tail! It looks like someone lopped off Scavenger's tail and it's squirming around on it's own…"

"Oh, Primus, I didn't need that image…" Mirage muttered.

"Hey, we should show it to Scavenger. He'd think it was neat!"

"You friends with Scavenger?" Bumblebee asked, trying to distract the squirming sparkling.

"He's nice! He lets us chase his tail, and shows us all sorts of neat stuff he's working on!"

Bumblebee missed a step. Could they really be that lucky? "He does? He show you what he's been working on lately?"

"Oh, yeah! Yesterday he showed us this cool thingy he's been working on! It like, cooks things! Really nifty! It goes bzzrap and the squishy goes crisp crisp and it's really really cool!"

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"It's not good news, Jazz. Megatron's new weapon appears to be a small portable device designed for use against the human population. It apparently 'cooks' them over a period of half an hour or so. Range unknown. It's controlled by a panel of buttons on the side rather than by remote, so hijacking the frequency to shut it off is out of the question. The biggest problem is its size. It's small enough to hide just about anywhere."

"Oh, great. Got anymore good news for me?"

"Just one bit."

"How bad is it?"

"That depends on how you feel about the plight of future generations…"

"What?"

"Thundercracker's a mommy."

Laughter. "Our race is doomed."

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"He told them what?!"

"Apparently everything, Lord Megatron." Thundercracker tried not to cringe.

"You're telling me that my phase generator is still two weeks from completion, and the Autobots know everything?!"

Thundercracker stepped back, yellow sparkling tucked under one arm. "Yes, Lord Megatron."

"I have a question," Skywarp broke in before Megatron exploded. "How did the bratling know this in the first place?" It was always best to spread the pain around, after all.

Six little optics peered up at Skywarp. "Scavanger," three voices chorused.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

"And they wanted to know how it worked, and what it does, and how long it took! So I told them!" Taser was recounting the whole adventure to the rapt attention of his wingmates.

All three were silent for a moment.

"I don't get it," said Stick.

All three turned to stare at the device in the corner, looking mystified.

"Why is everyone so interested in our Easy Bake Oven?"

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

The Note At The Bottom - For anyone curious, introducing the OCs: (AKA, the Bratlings from the Pit)  
Taser - seeker, buff yellow with purple edging. There's a reason he's called Taser, but that's another story altogether  
Scritch- Taser's wingmate, dark blue and red. Real name is Hotstrike, but she answers to Scritch  
Stick - Black with orange. Real name is Blackmark, but called Stick for a good reason. Again, that's another story.  
Alt form is the X-36, a miniature experimental aircraft. It's a real jet, with a wingspan of about 10 feet, 19 feet long and 3 tall.


	2. Sticky Situations

A/N: And the second installment of the adventures of the three Bratlings From the Pit, as Skywarp ever-so-fondly calls them.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Thundercracker and the Three Seeklets, Episode 2 - Sticky Situations

-0-0-

The little black seeker sitting on the floor stared at the strange bot who had just dove through the doorway, pointing a large gun in his face.

He blinked.

The strange bot blinked back.

Bluestreak lowered his gun, surprised. He crouched down to speak to the sparkling. "Hi there. What are you doing here?"

"_I _live here. What are _you _doin' here?" the sparkling looked suspiciously up at the Autobot.

"I'm..." He couldn't tell a child that he was there to attack his guardians! "I'm looking for something. Yeah. I'm Bluestreak. You got a name?" Bluestreak eased closer as he spoke, intending to pick the sparkling up and move him somewhere safer.

"'M name's Blackmark." The side of Bluestreak's gun barrel swung within a couple inches of the little seeker's wing as he moved, and with a definite _snap_, jerked sideways and adhered itself to the seeker's wing.

"But everyone calls me Stick."

-0-0-0-0-0-

"Scratch one generator! Mission accomplished!"

"All right Autobots, fall back! We're done here!"

"Wait! Has anyone seen Bluestreak?"

-0-0-0-0-0-

Stick was not a happy sparkling. In fact, right now he was a downright cranky sparkling. He was tired, he was hungry, and he couldn't find his wingmates _or _Thundercracker!

And now the strange bot was babbling.

Bluestreak was trying to pry Stick's wing off his gun barrel and having no luck. "Er, nice sparkling? Could you let my gun go?"

"No." Stick glared.

Bluestreak let go of the sparkling… or he tried to, at least. His hand refused to come away from Stick's wing.

"Gee, you're really aptly named, aren't you? Can't we be friends?" Bluestreak begged, hearing the sound of approaching voices.

"No. You're a dork."

"I'd make a great friend! Really! I'm great fun!" Bluestreak tried to pickup the sparkling one-handed, but Stick was firmly stuck to the floor. "We could play lots of games, and things… Bluestreak pulled hard on his trapped hand. The sparkling slid a few inches towards him. "Oh! Well, that might work for a ways, but I don't know what we'll do outside… You know, this would be much easier if you'd just let me go-"

"No!" The cranky sparkling glared more. "I don't wanna!"

Bluestreak's frantic response was cut off by the door across the room banging open. He froze, all of Thundercracker's considerable arsenal was pointed directly at his head. Several Decepticons followed Thundercracker into the room, leering at the trapped Autobot.

"Let go of the weapon, Autobot," growled Thundercracker.

Bluestreak let go, raising his free hand in surrender. The gun stayed in place.

A sudden commotion behind him announced the arrival of the Autobot force.

It was a stalemate, armed Autobots lining one side of the room, looking faintly bewildered, and Decepticons lining the other, looking faintly amused.

In the center, Bluestreak just looked faint.

The sparkling crossed his arms and looked mutinous.

"You can let him go now, Stick." Thundercracker tried not to laugh as the gun suddenly clanged to the floor and Bluestreak stumbled back.

Stick stood, glaring up at Bluestreak for a moment. Then he hauled back a foot and kicked the Autobot in the shins as hard as he could before turning and stomping out.

"Jerk!"

-0-0-0-0-

No plot, just scenes in the never-dull lives of three Decepticon children. Told y'all he awas called Stick for a reason.


	3. Fingerpainting

A/N - And the crack continues...

-0-0-0-0-0-

"Scritch! Taser! Stick!" Thundercracker yelled down the hallway.

The three sparklings spun around, clutching the paint cans and brushes and trying to look innocent.

"_What_ have I told you three?"

They exchanged glances. "Uh…"

"If it sparks, don't lick it?" ventured Stick.

"That was Skywarp," muttered Scritch.

"Oh, yeah."

"Oh, I got it!" Taser bounced in excitement. "Don't shoot Astrotrain in the butt!"

"Even if he is a jerk," muttered Scritch.

"No!" Thundercracker growled in exasperation. "I meant-"

"I know! Don't stick Ravage in the trash disposal!" Stick grinned.

"Or weld it shut," Taser added.

"No hanging upside down from the ceiling and dropping on people's heads?"

"I got it! I got it!" Stick yelled gleefully and recited, "Null rays are not toys, and sparklings caught playing with them will be fed to giant squid."

"No-" Thundercracker started

"That was Starscream," Taser interrupted. "I think he was lying, anyway. The giant squid wouldn't eat us."

"'Cause we're metal and taste bad?"

"No, because giant squid don't eat Decepticons. They live solely on Autobot," Taser informed the other two. "Skywarp said so."

"Oh, I know what it is! Never spike Megatron's energon with random chemicals found in Mixmaster's lab!"

"It was just the once," muttered Stick.

"No – wait, you did _what_?"

"Nothing," they chorused.

"Don't glue Laserbeak to the underside of chairs?" Stick continued.

"Arc welders are not toys?"

"I got it!" Scritch yelled, "Sparklings are not allowed to say the words 'slag,' 'bastard,' 'damn,' 'hell,' 'shit,' or any other word that Skywarp says that we do not know the meaning of."

"And most of the ones that we do, just to be safe," Stick chimed in.

"We also aren't allowed to say 'Shove it up your tailpipe and _twist_,' even though Starscream says it and not Skywarp," finished Taser.

"Yeah!" All three turned to Thundercracker. "Right?"

Thundercracker stared down at three sets of shining optics. "Nevermind," he muttered, defeated. "Just don't get caught this time, okay?"

"Okay!" they chorused.


	4. Field Trip, Part 1

"Decepticons, retreat!"

Autobots jeered at the fleeing Decepticons. The Decepticons spat threats and curses back.

In the confusion, no one noticed three brightly colored streaks vanish behind a rock.

"I don't know about this," Scritch muttered.

"Starscream told us to go bother someone else, so we are," reasoned Stick.

"I don't think this is what he meant!"

"Well, he should have said so then!"

"Look, do you want to see an Autobot, or not?" Taser demanded.

"Fine! But when we get in trouble, I'm telling Cracker that it was your idea!"

x-x-x

The Autobots straggled back into the Ark, tired, dirty, and banged up. Thankfully, none of the patrol had been seriously injured before Optimus could show up with reinforcements and chase off the Decepticon jets.

Given their condition, it was understandable that they failed to notice they were being followed. At least, until Sideswipe was almost bowled over by three fast-moving blurs of color that streaked past him and into the Ark.

He blinked. Then he gave chase. "Hey! Come back here!"

x-x-x

Catching small, hyperactive children was bad enough. The Autobots were finding out how much worse it was when the kids came equipped with jet engines.

They'd almost had the sparklings; Bee was monitoring their erratic movements through the security cameras, allowing the Autobots to corner the three jets.

Then the sparklings, without seeming to realize they were being stalked, disappeared into the maintenance crawlspace.

x-x-x

"Stick! Your aft is in my face!" Scritch whined

"So move your face!"

"Move your aft!"

"Shh! Hey, I found something!" Taser unlatched the hatch cover and poked his head down. "Oh, yeah! This is cool!" He dropped out of the crawlspace.

"Wow! Look at all the _stuff!"_ The other two followed him down.

Stick poked a strange object. "What this?"

"Who knows? We could start pushing buttons…"

x-x-x

"Guys, I found an open hatch," Bumblebee radioed in. He dropped to the floor and looked around. "The bad news is that it's Wheeljack's lab."

"Slag," Sideswipe muttered.

"The_ really_ bad news is that I'm sure these tables weren't this empty a few hours ago."

"Slag on a _stick_."

"Alright, Autobots, spread out and search for them! Assume the items they're carrying are dangerous and highly explosive-"

"Because they always are," Sideswipe interjected.

"So approach them with caution," Optimus continued. "The last thing we need is for anyone to get hurt because we startled them into dropping something. I want all available personnel searching-"

"What about the Dinobots?"

"…No, leave them out of this. We don't want to frighten the children."

x-x-x

A few floors away, a cluster of mechs crowded around a television set, optics focused on a well-used copy of _The Land Before Time_.

One of them looked up at the sound of voices raised outside the door, and the tromp of searchers rushing by.

"Me, Swoop, wonder what they, Autobots, looking for."

Grimlock nodded. "Me, Grimlock, wonder that too. Do you, short ones, know?"

Three pairs of little glowing optics peered up at him. "No," they chorused.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N – The madness continues!


	5. Field Trip, Part 2

"I don't know where they could be hiding, Optimus. We've crawled all through the maintenance shafts and gone through the entire Ark."

"Expand the search to the surrounding area, in case they managed to get outside. And get the Dinobots, we need all the help we can get."

x-x-x

"Him, Optimus, want help searching," Grimlock told the sparklings.

"Okay! Good luck finding whatever-it-is!" Taser chirped

"We'll go play with our new toys," added Scritch.

"At least they waited for the movie to end," Stick commented as they hopped back through the hatch.

The sparklings were on the move…

x-x-x

"Optimus! We got one!" Cliffjumper yelled over the sparkling's wailing. "We popped a hatch from underneath the thing; one fell through; the others took off screaming." He listened to the radio, then replied, "Yeah! They're still in the Ark somewhere… Primus, how do you make this thing shut up?!"

The blue and red seeker hanging from his hand just wailed louder.

"Try not holdin' the poor thing by the wing!" Hound pulled the sparkling out of his grasp, making crooning noises. "It's okay, shh…"

Cliffjumper grumbled and stalked off to hunt down the other two.

x-x-x

"Hey, I heard you guys got invaded!" Sparkplug was grinning when he showed up at the main entrance, a toy truck tucked under each arm. "I thought you could use some help."

"Baby Decepticons? Did I hear that right?" Spike asked Bumblebee.

"Three of them," affirmed Bumblebee.

"I dug up some of Spike's old toys," Sparkplug told a tired-looking Prowl. "Children come better if you have toys."

"We've caught one, but the other two are hiding somewhere in the crawlspaces above the control room. I was hoping you'd have better luck convincing them to come out than we have. Spike, would you mind taking over watching the one we've caught?"

"Sure, no problem!"

x-x-x

"Here she is," Hound set the little seeker – finally quiet - on the floor next to Spike. "She answers to Scritch," he told Spike as he headed for the door.

"Um, Hound? She's got _claws,_" Spike hissed. The sparkling did indeed have little red claws poking out from the tips of her fingers.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine. She ain't gonna scratch you. You hear that, Scritch? No scratching. Or shooting, either."

She looked up at the Autobot. "Okay."

Scritch stared at her new babysitter. Spike stared back, still trying to get his head around the idea of a female Decepticon, much less a _baby _female Decepticon. "Um, hi? I brought some toys…"

She picked the dump truck up and turned it over. "It looks like Long Haul. Only yellow."

"Yeah, it kinda does, doesn't it?"

"Thundercracker doesn't like him," Scritch said.

"Why not?"

"'Cause he's a jerk, and he makes fun of Skywarp."

"They're really good friends, aren't they? Thundercracker and Skywarp?" Spike watched as she made the dump truck plow into a wall.

"Of course they are. They're sleeping together, aren't they?"

Spike stared.

x-x-x

Meanwhile, Optimus was getting a headache. "_Please_ come out?"

"Optimus Prime is a lame name," opined one of the sparklings.

"Let's give him a better one," added the other.

"We'll call you Wingless. 'Cause you are," the first informed the Autobot leader.

"He has to have two names," the second reminded the first.

"Oh, yeah. Well, it's lame to have two names."

"So let's call him Wingless Lame."

Optimus tried to ignore the sound of his subordinates choking back laughter. "I don't have wings because I'm a truck," he said with all the patience he could muster.

Tucked out of reach in the maintenance shaft, the sparklings exchanged looks.

"Don't we know a song about a truck?" Taser asked Stick.

"Oh yeah!"

_Patience_, Optimus reminded himself as they started singing.

"I'm driving a truck, drivin' a big ol' truck…"

"Almost got them," Bumblebee radioed quietly, laughter in his voice. "A few more feet and I can grab _their_ feet…"

"Drivin' a truck with my high heels on!" they finished, engaging their thrusters and taking off down the crawlspace.

Optimus sighed as a mildly scorched Bumblebee tumbled out of the hatchway, looking sheepish.

x-x-x

"So Blitzwing and Astrotrain are sleeping together, too?"

"And the Constructicons all sleep together, too, obviously." Scritch crashed the dump truck into the tractor. She wasn't really sure why the human was so surprised. Space was limited at the underwater base after all, so almost _everyone_ had a roommate.

Spike's brain stuttered to a stop. "Obviously," he echoed faintly.

x-x-x

**Ka-BOOM**. "Sweet Primus!"

Sideswipe skidded around the corner, and stopped dead. Bluestreak sat in the middle of the floor, looking stunned. Bluestreak, the floor, the ceiling, and the walls were liberally covered in something green and gooey. And it glowed.

Trying to keep his face straight, Sideswipe radioed Wheeljack to let him know they'd found one of his missing inventions.

x-x-x

Stick turned to look back at the explosion. "Think one of the thingies 'sploded," he commented. "Scritch left it on the floor and the yappy one stepped on it. Good thing I put mine in the garbage."

x-x-x

"And everyone knows that Megatron and Starscream secretly like each other," Scritch continued, oblivious to Spike's horrified expression.

x-x-x

"Gotcha!" Bumblebee shouted in triumph.

"AIEEEEEE!!!! It's gonna EAT ME!"

"AAAAAAAAAH!" Stick dove out of the hatch, attaching himself to the nearest adult.

Unfortunately for Sideswipe, the nearest adult happened to be his face.

"Mmmrph!"

Sunstreaker took one look at his twin and burst out laughing.

"Nnfnnn!" Sideswipe protested.

"Sideswipe! Don't grab-" Bumblebee tried to yell a warning over the two sparklings' screaming. Too late. Sideswipe's hands were firmly stuck to Stick's backside.

Sunstreaker slumped against the wall and laughed.

"Sideswipe, stop pulling! Here, you hold him," Bee snapped at Sunstreaker, shoving the crying Taser into the startled Lamborghini's arms.

Sunstreaker held the sparkling out at arms length. "What am _I _supposed to do with it?" he demanded.

Taser stopped crying and stared at the golden Autobot. "Oh, wow," he breathed. "You're _yellow._"

"Optimus, we've found them. Sunstreaker's got one, and the other's got Sideswipe," Bumblebee radioed in. He turned back to Sideswipe. "Maybe you could slide him onto your chestplate…"

"Mmrph!"

It took a few minutes, but Stick eventually calmed down enough to allow himself to be peeled off Sideswipe's face. In the meantime, Prowl informed them that Thundercracker was on approach, presumably looking for the missing sparklings, and that they were to meet Optimus at the entrance.

Sunstreaker had taken one look at the knowing smirks he was getting from the other Autobots, and shoved the beaming sparkling into Optimus' hands. He stomped off, looking uncomfortable.

x-x-x

Optimus looked up at a hovering Thundercracker, Taser still tucked under one arm. "I do, however, feel obligated to express my concern about the sort of environment these children are being raised in," Optimus continued.

"Do you?" Thundercracker said with a sour expression. "Hey, Taser, you see the one holding you?"

The little yellow seeker twisted to stare up at Optimus Prime. "Yeah?"

"He's the one who shot Skywarp."

Taser looked horrified. "You sh-shot _Skywarp_?"

Optimus froze. How was he supposed to answer _that_?

The sparkling's expression went from horror to childish anger. "You shot Skywarp! You're a bad person!" A tingling sensation started in Optimus' side and arm, where he was touching Taser. "I don't _like_ you!"

If felt, Optimus thought later, rather like being picked up by the chestplate and shook. His vision went white as his systems shorted.

When his optics cleared he was flat on his back, the sparkling glaring at him. Taser transformed and took off after Thundercracker. His wingmates followed, Scritch turning back for just long enough for one last word.

"JERK!"

x-x-x

"Little guy packs quite a punch," Jazz observed as Ratchet finished checking out their leader.

"Nothing permanent," Ratchet noted. "Looks like he shorted your mainframe, and forced your systems to reboot. You're fine."

"Wheeljack finished his inventory?" Optimus asked wearily.

"That's the good news. Bad news is we're still short two devices, one of which is –" He was cut off by the sound of a reverberating _boom_ from somewhere deep in the Ark.

"Highly explosive?" Optimus guessed.

"Alright, we're short _one_ device…"

"What sort of device?"

"Well, that's the problem…"

-----------------------------------

A/N – Yes, yes, I know that the Truck Driving Song is an anachronism. Meh, it was the only embarrassing truck song I've got with a two-line punch line.


	6. Beginnings

A/N - And we step a bit back in time, to the Seeklet's first day on Earth...

x-xxx-x

"This has got to be the _stupidest_ idea you've ever had," Starscream said caustically, crossing his arms.

Megatron ignored him, waiting for the space-bridge to open.

Starscream wasn't finished, however. It simply wasn't in his nature to let such a perfect opportunity to insult his commander pass. "Even considering how utterly stupid your plans tend to be, this one tops the list."

"Shut _up_, Starscream!"

"Even _Skywarp_ thinks this is a stupid idea, and there are fungi on this planet smarter than Skywarp…"

Megatron growled. "Do you _like_ being shot?"

Starscream wisely settled on smirking knowingly at Megatron.

A few minutes later, Megatron was starting to have a few misgivings of his own. A small, brightly colored pile of wings and thrusters sat at his feet. He frowned uncertainly. He hadn't expected them to be so young, or quite so small…

Two tiny red optics peered from under a wing. They blinked up at him, then a little seeker head stuck out of the pile, looking around.

"Chee?" it beeped questioningly.

Two more heads popped up. "Bee? Chee!"

Starscream made a rude noise. "Oh yeah, this is _so_ going to work."

"If it fails, it will be because _you_ failed, Starscream. I'm putting you in charge of their training."

"What?!"

Megatron smirked. "You said you wanted a command post."

Starscream sputtered.

"Beebeebee!" The tiny yellow jet squirmed out from under the wings of the other two and tumbled to the ground. Little red optics blinked up at Starscream. "Be?"

Starscream growled. The yellow sparkling climbed to its fee. "Bee!" It took a step forward, promptly tripping over its afterburners and landing face-first on the ground. "Oof! Bebe_beeee_!"

Starscream glared at Megatron's retreating back. "Skywarp, take care of-" He paused. "Skywarp! Stop that!"

Skywarp looked up from where he'd been poking the red and blue sparkling with a foot. He'd flipped the red and blue sparkling on its back, where it was waving arms and beeping franticly. "What?" Skywarp poked it again. "It's like one of those turtles - look, it's stuck."

Starscream sighed. If he put Skywarp in charge, he'd either end up with three traumatized sparklings, or three exact copies of Skywarp. It was easy to decide which was worse. _One _Skywarp was too many… "Forget it. Thundercracker, you take care of these- Arg! Get off!"

"Bebebe! Beeeeee!" The yellow sparkling chirped happily, wrapping arms around Starscream's leg and resisting his attempts to shake it off.

"What the slag do you expect me to do?" demanded Thundercracker, glaring at the sparklings from a safe distance. "They're your responsibility."

Starscream managed to peel the yellow one off his leg and was holding it up by a foot. It beeped to itself, sounding vaguely confused by the change in orientation. "I'm your superior officer, Thundercracker. Take care of them. Give them toys, lock them in a box, I don't know! Whatever you do with small children!"

Skywarp looked up from prodding the blue and red one. "Uh, Screamer, I don't think you're actually _supposed_ to lock them in boxes, even if that's how you spent _your_ childhood."

"Y'know, that would explain a few things," Thundercracker noted with a grin. "The total lack of social skills, the horrible flying…"

"The shrieking…" Skywarp put in.

"Shove it up your tailpipe and _twist_." Starscream growled. "Just do something with the brats!" He dropped the yellow sparkling and stalked off.

Thundercracker sighed. "Come on, Warp, we need to get these guys back to base."

"We?" Skywarp backed up. "Don't get me wrong, TC, you're my best bud and all, and I'd even take a shot for you, but you're on your own here."

"Aw, come on Skywarp!"

"No. No slagging way. No way in the _Pit_!" Skywarp took off, heading for the base.

Left alone with the sparklings, Thundercracker's wings drooped. "What am I supposed to do with you?"

The black seeker stared suspiciously up at him and made a rude noise. Still stuck in its back, the red and blue one let out a pathetic_ squee_, feet waving in the air.

Thundercracker glared morosely at the two. He frowned. Two? He looked up.

The yellow one had figured out that crawling was a lot easier than walking, and was rapidly disappearing into the rocky hillsides.

"Hey! Come back here, you little brat!" Thundercracker gave chase.

The other two watched for a moment.

"Bee?" asked the black one.

"Chee-beep," answered the other with a shrug.


	7. Flying Lessons

A/N- Set a few days after last chapter.

x-xxx-x

Two little red optics peered up at Thundercracker. "Beep," said the sparkling.

Thundercracker glowered. "Do you _want_ something?"

"Beeeeebebebe!"

"If you want something, say so," Thundercracker said crossly. "Don't just sit there and beep at me."

"Hungry!" chirped the little yellow seeker.

"Full sentences, brat. Say 'I am hungry.'"

Taser nodded eagerly. "Yeah!"

Thundercracker sighed. "Repeat after me. 'I am hungry.'"

There was a pause, the sparkling looking confused. "…You are hungry?"

_Patience,_ Thundercracker reminded himself. "No. _Repeat_ after me: 'I-'"

"You-"

"No!" Thundercracker snapped. "You are hungry. Say it."

Taser brightened. "Oh! _Repeat!_ You are hungry!"

His caretaker twitched. "Whatever. Drink your Energon." Thundercracker shoved the cube at the three sparklings. They pounced on it, chirring happily.

Thundercracker snorted and went back to writing his report. He was almost finished when a chirp drew his attention to the side again. The yellow sparkling was perched on the edge of the table.

Taser fixed bright optics on him. "Bored!"

Thundercracker glared.

A sudden flash of light startled the sparkling. Taser spun around and promptly fell off the edge of the table with a squeak.

Skywarp blinked at the sparkling that landed at his feet. "So, TC, get them to talk right yet?"

Thundercracker just grumbled.

Taser wobbled to his feet with a perplexed beep. His trine-mates poked their heads over the table edge to stare. "Chee?" asked one.

"Bleep," he answered.

Skywarp watched the exchange with bemusement. "Do you think they're actually, you know, talking? Or is it all a bunch of random noises?"

"A bit of both, I suspect." Thundercracker shrugged.

His wingmate picked Taser up, dangling him by one wing. "I don't trust this whole 'sparking' theory of Shockwave's. They certainly don't seem very smart. Vector Sigma products could at least talk right."

"They can talk fine. They just don't. Apparently, beeping is more fun."

"Chee!" chirped Taser in agreement.

Skywarp shook his head. "Personally, I think he just saddled us with miniature flying Dinobots. At least they're prettier than the lumbering hulks," he added with typical seeker vanity.

Thundercracker turned back to his report. "They're learning fine, they just need to process everything bit by bit."

"Since when did you know anything about sparklings?" Skywarp asked, giving him a strange look.

"I asked Soundwave."

"Oh." Skywarp flipped the yellow seeker in his hand upside-down. "So, gonna teach 'em to fly anytime soon?"

Thundercracker spared him an annoyed look. "I'll get around to it. Primus knows none of you are any help."

"Sure I am! Just watch! Hey, brats, who wants to go flying?"

"ME!" The two on the table waved their hands gleefully.

"Me, too!" chirped Taser, still upside-down.

Thundercracker sighed and gave up on his report. "Fine."

He scooped up Blackmark and Hotstrike and followed Skywarp to the hanger.

Once there, Skywarp set Taser down near the open doors. The sparkling wasted no time in crawling to the edge and peering over.

"Oo."

"Alright, listen up, bratling. Point thrusters away from the direction you want to go, got it?"

Taser blinked up at him. "Okay."

"Good." With that, Skywarp unceremoniously booted the sparkling off the edge.

"Aieeeeeeee!"

"Skywarp!" Thundercracker snapped, "That's not funny!"

"Sure it is! Aw, come on, TC, don't be a spoilsport. We can always fish him out. A little water won't hurt him." Skywarp leaned over the edge. "'Sides, I think he's getting the hang of it."

A screaming blur rocketed past the hanger entrance as Taser, panicking, misjudged his speed and overshot. The scream rose a notch as he found that moving his legs wildly caused sudden and unpredictable changes in direction.

Thundercracker glared. "Go get him."

"Aw, TC, you're no fun." Skywarp took off after the erratically moving yellow blur.

_On second thought,_ Thundercracker grinned to himself, watching Skywarp make a grab for the sparkling and miss, _this__** is**__ kinda fun._ Skywarp cursed, lunging and missing again. The sparkling wailed louder, flailing arms and legs frantically. It was, all in all, the funniest thing Thundercracker had seen in years.

_Maybe I should sell tickets._


	8. Vectoring

A/N- The seeklets return, bringing more trouble with them, as always! Apparently we're starting a soundtrack now, thanks to Artsy Resuri - "Bach Street Prelude" by Vanessa Mae. Check it out, it's got the most adorable beeping and chirping in the beginning. Reminds me of Scritch.

Set a few weeks after Field Trip.

x-xxx-x

"Now, update your telemetry data – Taser! Get back here!" Thundercracker waited for the little yellow jet to flit back into formation. "Focus!"

"Sorry," Taser radioed back sheepishly. "It was shiny," he muttered to the other two.

The four jets were flying over an empty expanse of desert, practicing the seeker art of vectors and dead reckoning. The open area had the advantage of high visibility and few distractions for the hyperactive sparklings.

"Alright, verify your coordinates using GPS. We'll use that as a starting point for the next exercise."

"My coordinates keep changing," Scritch complained.

Thundercracker mustered his patience. "That's because you're _moving_."

"…Oh."

"Everyone got their coordinates? Now-"

"There's something down there!" Taser drifted out of formation again.

"Yeah, rocks," muttered Stick. "Taser, your wash is getting in my intakes! Again!" Stick pulled up to get above Taser.

"No, look!"

"Hey, I see it too!" Scritch called.

Thundercracker checked his scanners. Whatever was making the dust cloud, it was worth at least a quick pass. "Alright you three, I want you to maintain speed and continue on this heading for five klicks. You will then turn northwards two-nine degrees, and proceed on the new heading for twenty klicks. Then you will land on the hilltop and wait for me. Got it?"

"Five klicks, north two-nine degrees, twenty klicks," Scritch recited back. "Okay!"

_That should keep them busy and out of the way, just in case this turns into a firefight,_ Thundercracker thought as he peeled away.

The sparklings flew for a few kilometers in silence.

"Uh, guys?" Taser asked suddenly as they neared the turning point. "Was that twenty-nine degrees, or two nine-degree turns?"

Silence met his question.

"… Maybe it was two-plus-nine degrees?"

"That's so not helpful, Stick," Scritch complained.

"We're almost to the turn," Taser warned them. "We gotta figure it out."

"Should we radio Thundercracker?" Scritch asked hesitantly.

There was a pause, as they listened to the weaponry firing in the distance. "… I think he's busy," Stick muttered.

"He said two nine degrees, so let's turn north nine degrees twice," Taser decided.

x-x-x

Thundercracker growled to himself as he kicked on his afterburners and sped north. _Slagging Autobots. They're like cyber-rats, you can't even run a training mission without tripping over them._

_And Primus only knows what sorts of mischief the brats have gotten themselves into,_ Thundercracker noted dryly as he approached the rendezvous point.

He pulled up sharply. The hillside was bare and empty, devoid of thruster-burns or landing skid marks.

_Slag it all._

x-x-x

"Guys, I Don't see a hill," Scritch pointed out.

"… Maybe we missed it?" Taser suggested uncertainly.

"Nuh-uh, I was watching."

"I told you it was two-plus-nine degrees," Stick said smugly.

"Okay…" Taser thought hard. "So, if we turned too far north, we should turn South to correct? Let's go South nine degrees twice, then twenty klicks back, and then turn two-and-nine degrees. That should put us on the right heading. I'm so smart!"

Stick blew exhaust at his wingmate.

A few minutes of careful counting and arguing later, they set off again.

"… I still don't see any hills," Stick said after a while.

"Me either," muttered Scritch.

"Maybe it moved?" Taser ventured.

"Hills don't move, dork," Scritch huffed, scanning the area again.

"How do you know?" Taser asked defensively. "They might! Have you ever watched a hill to make sure?"

"Hills don't move! And I'll prove it!" Scritch paused. "Soon as I find one."

"Maybe we haven't gone far enough?" Taser looked around uncertainly.

"Maybe we should just call Thundercracker."

"…Yeah," Taser agreed reluctantly.

"Uh, Thundercracker? I think we're lost," Scritch radioed.

They waited. Silence.

"Maybe we're out of range?" she suggested in a small voice.

"What _is _our range?"

"'Bout twenty miles."

"… We're going to be in _so_ much trouble," Taser said unhappily.

x-x-x

"West is clear," Slingshot reported, transforming and landing in a skid. "Looks like it was just Thundercracker." The Harrier sounded annoyed at being denied a chance at the other seekers.

Jazz nodded. "It's possible he was out scoutin' alone. Alright, call Skydive back, and let's head in. We'll – Wait." Jazz frowned, looking up. "What's tha'?"

Weapons came up as three brightly colored shapes dropped out of the sky, aiming straight for the Autobot patrol.

"We're saved!" crowed Taser, pulling up.

"People!" Scritch zipped up to Slingshot, transforming to beam happily at the Aerialbot.

"Finally," Stick muttered, dropping to sit on Trailbreaker's hood.

The Autobots stared in surprise.

"Hi!" Taser greeted the red and white jet. "We're lost!"

"Uh…" For perhaps the first time in his life, Slingshot found himself at a loss for words.

Bluestreak grinned and stepped forward to rescue the Aerialbot. "Hey, guys!"

The three sparklings turned and looked at Bluestreak. "We're not supposed to talk to strangers," Stick informed him.

"I'm not a stranger! You guys know me!" Bluestreak protested.

Stick stared at him for a long moment. "Dude, they don't _get_ stranger than you."

There was a strangled noise from Jazz as he tried not to laugh.

Taser waved his arms to get everyone's attention again. "So Thundercracker said to go two-nine degrees, so we made two nine-degree turns, then we went twenty klicks like he said, and no hill. So we went a bit further, and_ still _no hill. Then Stick said it was two-plus-nine degrees, so we went South nine degrees twice, then twenty klicks back, then two _plus_ nine degrees, and _still_ no hill! And now we're here." Taser looked up at Slingshot expectantly. "Where are we?"

"Way off course," Slingshot answered, feeling off balance.

"I guess we know why Thundercracker was out here," Jazz murmured, amused.

Bluestreak frowned. "Wait, you won't talk to me, but you'll talk to him? You've never met him!"

Stick gave Bluestreak a look. "Dude, he's got _wings."_

"That's a weird place for a nosecone," Scritch informed Slingshot, flitting around to poke at it. She flopped across his shoulder, eyeing the jet parts on his back. "Why's your cockpit back there?"

"It's where?" Taser frowned, plopping himself on Slingshot's other shoulder for a look. "Weird!" He stuck his head back around to look Slingshot in the face. "Why's your wings on backwards?"

"My wings are just fine!" Annoyed, Slingshot caught Taser's foot and yanked him off, tossing the little jet to one side.

"Slingshot!" Bluestreak was scandalized by the callous motion.

Taser, however, seemed completely unperturbed, flitting back to land on Slingshot's head.

A burst of laughter alerted Slingshot to his gestalt-mate's ever-so-timely arrival, much to his chagrin.

"Wait till Air Raid hears about this," Skydive managed, still laughing.

"Oh, shut up," Slingshot grumbled. _I'm never going to live this down_… He grabbed the two miniature seekers, unceremoniously dropping them both on the ground. Growling to himself, Slingshot transformed and took off.

Taser and Scritch climbed up to sit next to Stick. "Dude!" Stick said in awe, "Did you _see_ that? He went _straight up!_"

The other two nodded. "We should ask if he can go backwards, too," Taser said, jumping to his feet.

"He's going too fast," Stick pointed out, not bothering to get up. "You'll never catch him."

Taser sat down. "Oh, yeah."

They looked at each other, then over at Skydive. "Hi. We're lost." Stick poked at Trailbreaker's windshield wipers while Taser told Skydive his rather confused and jumbled version of the story. The black SUV twitched, trying hard not to laugh.

"Would you happen to have the coordinates?" Skydive asked when he was done, shooting Jazz an uncertain look. Jazz just shrugged back at him, grinning.

"Of course not. We hadn't got there yet!" Scritch shook her head. "Silly Autobot."

"No coordinates," Skydive sighed.

"Nope. Just the ones where we started," Scritch said. "But those won't help, because we don't know where we're supposed to go from there."

Trailbreaker's engine made a sort of cough as he suppressed laughter.

x-x-x

"Here you go," Skydive said, landing on the hilltop. "Now just stay right here, so Thundercracker can find you.

Three little sets of optics peered up at him. "Okay," they said.

Stick looked at the others as the Aerialbot left. "Autobots are so weird. Don't they know how to add? Two-plus-nine is _not_ twenty nine."

x-x-x

Thundercracker growled in frustration, swinging around for one last check of the rendezvous point. He'd scoured the entire area, even spotting the Autobot patrol on its way back, but found no sign of the three brats.

_Slag it, where could they –_ he pulled up. There, sitting calmly as could be on the designated hilltop, were three brightly-colored shapes, doodling pictures in the dirt.

They looked up as he landed. "What took you so long?" asked Stick.


	9. Naptime

A/N – This plot bunny has been eating my pant legs ever since Artsy Resuri made that comment about putting the Seeklets to bed… I'm running out of pants, so I gave in. Set a bit after Flying Lessons.

x-xxx-x

Skywarp was already stretched out on his berth when Thundercracker finally trudged in. "Aw, if it isn't Mommy Cracker! Did ya tuck the little kiddies in?"

Thundercracker gave him a blank look. "…What did you call me?"

"Mommy Cracker. Y'know, cuz you're acting like-" Skywarp threw his hands in the air at his wingmate's uncomprehending expression. "Never mind! You people never get my jokes."

"Have you tried making sense?" Thundercracker grumbled, flopping heavily on his berth.

"I make perfect sense! Any human would have gotten it! Half the time I think the rest of you don't even notice what planet we're even on."

Thundercracker snorted. "You hate this planet, Skywarp."

"Of course I do! This has got to be the most boring outpost we've ever been stuck on." Skywarp complained. "I have to work twice as hard to get any amusement at all. So _obviously_ I watch human entertainments. And if you'd just pull that stick out of your power rectifier, you would too." Thundercracker just gave his friend a flat look. Sulking, Skywarp rolled over to face the wall. "You're all barbarians," he muttered.

Thundercracker grinned at the ceiling

x-x-x

Thundercracker came out of recharge to the sound of hushed voices and scraping metal. It took him only a moment to pinpoint where the sounds were coming from… the maintenance shaft above his berth.

A quick glanced showed Skywarp still deep in defrag, sprawled face-down across from him. Frowning, Thundercracker held very still, slowly warming his weapon systems.

A screw was unbolting itself from the crawlspace cover. It popped loose, bouncing off the berth with a soft _plink_.

"Shh!" hissed one of the voices behind the cover. Nothing moved for a long moment.

Apparently reassured that the falling screw hadn't woke anyone, the intruders started in on one of the others.

_Definitely more then one,_ Thundercracker noted as a third screw started moving before the second one was out.

Thundercracker tensed as the screws tumbled, taking aim. The cover swung down on its remaining screw with a startlingly loud scrape.

A pair of tiny red glowing optics peered over the edge. "Beep?" Two more sets of optics appeared over Taser's wings.

Thundercracker groaned, his arm falling back to the berth.

Reassured that they had found their destination, the little yellow seeker hopped out of the shaft, landing with a _plop _on Thundercracker's canopy. Scritch clambered out after her wingmate, dangling for a moment before dropping. Stick just crawled right down the wall.

Thundercracker glared at the baby seeker sitting on his chest. "Aren't you supposed to be recharging?" he demanded.

Taser looked back at him innocently. "Couldn't sleep."

"You _don't_ sleep," Thundercracker muttered crossly. _Slag Warp and his Earth influences…_ He gave Skywarp a quick glance to make sure he was still out cold. He sighed. "Fine. You can stay here. Just be quiet about it," he growled as they beamed at him. "If you wake Skywarp, I'll never hear the end of it."

They chirped in acknowledgment, settling – after a little pushing and shoving for position – into a pile of wings and thrusters. Snuggled up to his side, they fell right into recharge, lulled by the soft rumbling of Thundercracker's engines.

Thundercracker heaved a sigh, letting his head thump back against the berth. _If I can wake up before Skywarp, maybe I can get them back to their room before he notices. And fix the crawlspace covers…_

x-xxx-x

A/N- Don't count on it Thundercracker.


	10. Screamer Sitting

The first indication that it was going to be a bad day came when Astrotrain stomped down the hallway towards him, holding three tiny seekers.

"I think you lost something," Astrotrain growled, shoving the sparklings into a startled Starscream's arms.

"But... wait..." Starscream looked from Astrotrain's retreating back to the three innocently glowing optics.

Well, two pairs of optics, and one thruster. Taser swung upside-down from one leg, beeping quietly.

"What the slag are you brats doing now?" Starscream demanded.

"Skywarp told us to go away and make trouble for someone," Scritch told him innocently.

"And to tell everyone that it was your turn to watch us when we got caught," Taser called up.

Stick whacked Scritch in the wing. "We were weren't supposed to tell anyone it was Skywarp!" he hissed.

"Oopsie."

Starscream froze at the sound of footsteps behind him. He turned to look over his wing with a sinking feeling.

Megatron smirked.

Mortified, Starscream dropped the sparklings. Stick squeaked, attaching him to Starscream's hand with a magnetic snick. Scritch hung off Stick's leg, clinging to one of Taser's thrusters.

Megatron's lips twitched.

"Here, let me help you with that, Starscream," Megatron purred as Starscream tried to shake the dangling sparklings off. Catching Starscream by an intake before he could pull away, Megatron shoved the Air Commander Stick-first into the wall.

Starscream cursed, tugging at his trapped arm. "Megatron! Don't walk away from me, slag it! Argh!"

"He's a jerk," Scritch commented. Stick nodded in agreement.

Starscream just snarled.

x-x-x

Stick blinked up at his wingmates. "Wha happened?"

"You got null-rayed," Scritch told him, optics wide with awe.

"Yeah! We poked you and every thing!" Taser chimed in. "So what did it feel like?"

Stick sat up, patting himself to make sure all his parts were still there. "I dunno."

"How do you not know?!" Taser scowled furiously.

Stick just shrugged his wings and clambered to his feet. "Dunno."

Air hissed through Taser's intakes. "Humph."

"What's he doing?" Stick asked curiously, watching Starscream working at the desk.

"Dunno," said Scritch. "But it must be important."

Three sets of optics turned towards Starscream, accompanied by three evil little grins.

x-x-x

_That's it!_ Starscream set the data pad on the desk, turning back to the computer. _If I modify the rotational speed here, then... yes, that's it!_

So focused was Starscream on the monitor, he completely missed the two tiny red optics peering over his desk. A matching black hand snuck its way across the desktop, carefully lifting his data pad. The optics, hand, and data pad disappeared behind the desk.

Furious whispers broke out.

"Stop hogging, Stick!" Scritch whined, tugging on the data pad.

"Yeah, I wanna see too!" Taser bounced up and down.

"No! I stoled it fair and square! I get to see it first!" Stick held on stubbornly.

"So?" Scritch yanked harder.

Stick glowered and activated his magnetics. "Ha! Now try to take it!"

Scritch folded her arms and sulked. "You're such a jerk sometimes."

Triumphant, Stick looked down at his prize. "Uh, is it supposed to look like that?"

The other two clustered around him and the data pad. "It had words a second ago," Taser said.

They exchanged looks.

"Oopsie," said Scritch.

Meanwhile, above them, Starscream was frowning at the screen. "That's not right," he muttered to himself. He reached blindly for his data pad, not noticing the tiny black hand sliding back over the edge of the desk.

The three sparklings very quietly tip-toed away, ducking around the door frame and into the hall. A few seconds later, a shriek reverberated down the hallway, sending the three fleeing as fast as their little thrusters could take them.


End file.
